This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about  Chicago  .. 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in  Chicago . 

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in  Chicago . 

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in  Chicago . 

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago . 

If ‘Vacation’ means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago . 

If you measure distance in hours, you live in  Chicago . 

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ in the same day and back again, you live in  Chicago . 

 If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago .  

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in  Chicago . 

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in  Chicago . 

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago . 

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in  Chicago . 

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in  Chicago . 

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in  Chicago . 

If you find 10 degrees ‘a little chilly’, you live in  Chicago . 

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your  Chicago  friends & others, you live, or have lived, in    Chicago.