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The Global Facts … At Any Given Moment: =0 A FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 lonely old timer is reading emails. You hang in there sunshine…….
Shrek,Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lopez were all having lunchtogether. Shrek said, ‘I have always thought that I’m the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure? Brad Pitt said, ‘I’m pretty sure I’m the hottest man alive but I’ve Never had it confirmed.’ Jennifer Lopez agreed. ’I’m told I’m the sexiest of [...]
I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to read perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all [...]
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND YOUR PARENTS LINED YOU UP AGAINST A DOOR FRAME TO MARK HOW TALL YOU WERE AND DATED THE MARK? WELL,THIS CARTOON BRINGS A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THAT EXERCISE! LAUGHTER WILL KEEP YOU YOUNG AT HEART!
McCain writes letter . . . You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to [...]
Man, I’ll tell ya, women are cold until the end! The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’ The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. [...]
Recess at the Asylum A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -Thomas Jefferson
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with [...]
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and said… ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary [...]
The Top 10 Contestants For The 2006 Women Drivers Award 10th Place Goes to: 9th Place Goes To: 8th Place Goes To: 7th Place Goes To: 6th Place Goes To: 5th Place Goes To: 4th Place Goes To: The Bronze Medal Winner: The Silver Medal Winner: Her helmet is being worn backwards ….. and finally, [...]
All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady! Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’ 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. ‘Miss Joyce”; ‘Are you [...]
GUESS WHO CAME HOME FOR DINNER? This fawn followed this beagle home — right through the doggie door — in the Bittinger, MD. area recently. The owner came home to find the visitor had made himself right at home. This hit the 6 o’clock news big time. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL..!!
WaterH2o.pps Gorgeous photos! Just keep clicking. Beautiful images.
What good are old people anyway As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the door open. The old man was looking at the engine. I put [...]
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