differences between men and women

There are many basic differences between men and women.  Here are a few obvious ones:

Names

  If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

  If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

Eating Out

  When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

 

Money

  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

 

Bathrooms

  A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

  The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

 

 

Cats

  Women love cats.

  Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

 

 

Marriage

  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

  A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

 

 

Dressing Up

  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

  Men don’t dress up unless they absolutely have to.

 

Offspring

  A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

“Ahhhhh….it all makes sense now!”