… What your car says about you:
Acura Integra – I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend – I’m too bland for German cars
Acura NSX – I am impotent
Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado – I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville – I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette – I like people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette
Chevrolet Corvette – I’m in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino – I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba – I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z – I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart – I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona – I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont – (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang – I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria – I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm – I will start the 11th grade in the fall
Geo Tracker – I will start the 12th grade in the fall
Honda del Sol – I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic – I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord – I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45 – I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse – I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6 – I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year
Kia Sephia – I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
Lincoln Town Car – I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis – (See above)
Mazda Miata – I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
Mitsubishi Diamante – I don’t know what it means either
Oldsmobile Cutlass – I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel – I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List
Porsche 911 Turbo – I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 – l am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Saturn SC2 – (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy – I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Isuzu
Toyota Camry – I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle – I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet – I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus – I am tripping right now
Acura Integra – I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend – I’m too bland for German cars
Acura NSX – I am impotent
Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado – I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville – I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette – I like people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette
Chevrolet Corvette – I’m in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino – I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba – I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z – I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart – I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona – I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont – (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang – I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria – I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm – I will start the 11th grade in the fall
Geo Tracker – I will start the 12th grade in the fall
Honda del Sol – I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic – I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord – I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45 – I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse – I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6 – I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year
Kia Sephia – I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
Lincoln Town Car – I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis – (See above)
Mazda Miata – I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
Mitsubishi Diamante – I don’t know what it means either
Oldsmobile Cutlass – I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel – I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List
Porsche 911 Turbo – I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 – l am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Saturn SC2 – (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy – I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Isuzu
Toyota Camry – I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle – I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet – I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus – I am tripping right now
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