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No One Believes Old Folks An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had [...]
Make love,not war. hell, do both. Get married! “Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.” Oscar Wilde “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem:Everything the princess touched would melt.No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The [...]
Hmmmm could almost be a blonde joke!! I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely
THIS WILL BE ME,LOL !!!!! SPEEDING TICKET BOY, THERE ARE DAYS THAT I COULD TRUTHFULLY USE THIS EXCUSE…. Did you hear about the 83-year-old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she [...]
A New York man retired. He wanted to use his retirement money wisely, so it would last, and decided to buy a home and a few acres in Portugal . The modest farmhouse had been vacant for 15 years; the owner and wife both had [...]
Continue reading " Always check the barn -true story. ALWAYS CHECK THE TRUE STORY "
Question: What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS? Answer: A crazy bitch who WILL find you!
Subj: HEAVEN OR HELL… THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT– it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!! While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is [...]
Subject: FW: HELLO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DISNEYLAND Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home. FLORIDA OR MOON Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, [...]
Mari - Eleanor - MollyThese three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Eleanor immediately had a stroke. Then Molly also had a stroke. But Mari, being older and more feeble, couldn’t reach that far.
Hubble Telescope- Astronomers Select Top Ten Most Amazing Pictures Taken by Hubble Space Telescope in Last 16 Years‘…they illustrate that our universe is not only deeply strange, but also almost impossibly beautiful.’Michael Hanlon/AH (Nov 25th, 2006)After correcting an initial problem with the lens, when the Hubble Space Telescope was [...]
10 RULES FOR MEN- by Tiger Woods 1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home.2. It’s important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.3. It’s important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.4.. It’s important to have a woman who has a [...]
Continue reading " Tiger Woods rules for men & worrying news about beer "
> A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all verysuccessful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.> > “Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed son number one …. ‘Sorry I’mrunning late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you knowhow it is, and I didn’t have [...]
> The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified,> well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.>> ‘May I help you sir?” she asked.> ‘I want to see Valerie,’ the man replied.>> ‘Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. [...]
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