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I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched [...]
ENJOY AND GET THOSE TOES TAPPIN’ THIS SHOULD GET YOUR TOES A TAPPIN’ Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. Good Day to all my ”bee”utiful Family & Friends Bee busy Doing what You Love to do. Bee [...]
A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol’ Blue how to talk!” “That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How [...]
This is tooooooooo weird! Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants” and add a few more letters, it actually spells out: “Fuck off and go home all you benefit stealing, kid producing, non English-speaking cocksuckers, and take those hairy-faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat fucking, mutton eating, [...]
“Of course I won’t laugh, I’m a professional nurse. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay then,” Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen Length and width, it couldn’t have been bigger than an AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor [...]
Seasoned Citizens Remember, If you haven’t got a smile on your face And laughter in your heart, Then you are just a sour old fart!
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us Have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but The Indian Embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her Wedding night, the husband [...]
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the [...]
Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation. Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies. Put [...]
John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 [...]
Recently posted on craigslist In the Portland area To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland) We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to [...]
You gotta Love the Irish Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, ‘Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest [...]
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